(AGENPARL) – sab 31 dicembre 2022 By Marialuisa Roscino
The Christmas holidays are just around the corner and the things to do increase exponentially, so it often happens that you feel tired and demoralised, sometimes even stressed. The most common worries at the top of the list are lack of time, lack of money, the urgency of presents, departures, and the closing of work plans that one has set before the end of the year. How, then, is it possible to overcome the Christmas stress caused by the frenetic pace of the various tasks to be tackled? How can we experience Christmas instead, with joy and serenity? How helpful can effective organisation and self-care be, and how important can it be to ‘listen to one’s own time’ and follow what is more commonly called ‘biological rhythm’? We asked Dr Adelia Lucattini, Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst of the Italian Psychoanalytic Society and the International Psychoanalytical Association, all this and more.
Dr Lucattini, why do you think people get anxious at Christmas?
Because Christmas is a ‘deadline’, a time like New Year’s Eve, when we take stock. Inevitable is the comparison, even unconscious, between this Christmas and all the previous ones. It is spontaneous to check whether one’s wishes have come true, to count successes and failures, to measure one’s expectations of the New Year. The trauma caused by lockdown and pandemic is extraordinarily strong because it is ignored and denied, so the thought falls on difficulties, fears and losses (people, work, study, holidays, etc.). The stronger the ban on talking about the psychological distress, the more it is accentuated.
What are the most common feelings in people related to Christmas?
The main feeling this year is separation anxiety, which is quite common at Christmas time because it is associated with the Christmas holidays, the time when there is no school, and the suspension of analysis and psychotherapy. The particularity of this year, however, is the confusion between separation and loss. Separation is a momentary detachment that, thanks to our inner strength, holds on while we wait to meet again. Loss, on the other hand, is a final separation that gives rise to mourning. When a separation is experienced as a loss, there is inevitably anxiety, anguish and depression.
Another widespread feeling is fear of the future. As if Christmas is the ‘Hercules’ of the soul, after 25 December, emptiness. It is an expected reaction this year due to the cumulative stress of pandemic, war and energy crisis, but the proportions for people who suffer from it are really important.
How much can the Christmas shopping frenzy actually benefit people if there is a lack of money? What critical aspects can there be in this case, and instead, what are the positive aspects?
Undoubtedly, the lack of economic possibilities, not only absolute but also proportionate to one’s own standards and habits, causes discouragement, demoralisation and depression. Money can be counted, unconsciously it is also a way of quantifying one’s own value, one’s own possibilities, the love others have for us. However, one should not become despondent, it is important to think that in all crises new ideas are born and then maintained. Moreover, every crisis is always followed by a recovery, because the economy has a cyclical pattern, just like the ‘seasonal depression’ and the ‘Christmas Blues’. In times of lesser economic resources, one can rediscover the beauty of handmade gifts (scarves, hats, small knitted, crocheted or embroidered gifts), useful objects, homemade food and sweets, flower arrangements. All ‘handicraft’ activities gratify the giver and have great symbolic meaning. The gift does not only contain the thought and love for the person to whom it is given, like gifts bought by shopping, but also contains the time and creativity of the person who thought it up and packaged it.
In this particular period, one is caught up in a variety of commitments and also in the fear of not being able to complete everything one has set oneself, before the Christmas holiday period begins. How important is it instead to ‘listen to one’s own time and rhythm, the one that is more commonly referred to as ‘organic’?
It is absolutely fundamental. Knowing and listening to oneself is the key to staying healthy and happy. Every time we force our rhythms, get too tired, demand too much of ourselves, our mind suffers. Emotional time (rooted in our unconscious) cannot be forced. They are spontaneously aligned with our life rhythm, acquired through family and personal habits. Every time we impose a pace on ourselves that is beyond our possibilities, that we allow our will to overstep our limits, we weaken our psychic and physical defences. Stress, whether intense or prolonged, can make one ill and block.
How can you overcome anxiety and cope with Christmas stress?
By planning breaks, dedicating time to oneself and not being alone. While solitude is a pleasant and constructive existential condition, in which we take our time and enjoy intimacy with ourselves, isolation, being alone, is a cause of discomfort and illness. Also, do not miss the opportunity to celebrate the holidays and enjoy carefree moments because celebrating is always anti-depressant!
Seeing friends, attending positive groups where you can also make new acquaintances, choosing relatives to meet, are all keys to feeling better.
In addition, cultivating one’s hobbies, taking advantage of the holidays to be outdoors, doing some physical activity, reading, listening to music, are certainly good for you and are accessible to everyone.
How important is it at this time to take care of oneself?
It is always important, but during the festive season when there is a tendency towards melancholy or depression, it becomes crucial. Caring for the body is a source of great benefits, from the beauty farm to the warm bath with essential oils.
Self-care also goes through culture and sport. So, visiting exhibitions, museums, organising trips, seeing places that are difficult to reach during the pandemic, going to the theatre, to concerts, are all activities that do a lot of good, for young and old alike. They are recommended together with children and teenage children, with grandparents and elderly friends who have, of necessity, spent a lot of time at home. They are also suitable for teenagers who can organise themselves into groups and thus use their time creatively.
For those who decide to spend the Christmas period out of town or attend Christmas dinners and events, do you think it is important to remember the anti-Covid measures, given that there are still so many cases of Covid-19?
The Italian Ministry of Health and the National Federation of Italian Medical Associations have reminded us that the pandemic, unfortunately, is not over yet, and advised caution and the use of masks when one cannot keep a safe distance. It is well known that this year the simultaneous presence of Covid-19, seasonal flu and respiratory syncytial virus, has caused a very rapid increase in sick people and hospitalisations. Wearing a mask is truly little inconvenience compared to falling ill during the holiday period. Any physical illness, moreover, during a holiday period, is a proven cause of depression.
Prevention is the best measure to take care of oneself, and to enjoy one’s holidays with serenity and pleasure.